Cruz to City: Drop Dead

A person running for president said something snide, and later said he was apologizing for it. Sounds good until you seek the apology. The candidate isn’t expressing regret, he’s piling insults higher.

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Posted in Fake apologies, Poisoned Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I would NEVER DO that thing I did

On the subject of an upcoming Black Lives Matter march scheduled for Martin Luther King Day in St. Paul, MN, someone who called himself “JM Roth” posted on Facebook. JM Roth had advice for people who were inconvenienced.

Photo: Stanley Wolfson, New York World Telegram & Sun. Public domain.

Don’t run them over

“Run them over. Keep traffic flowing and don’t slow down for any of these idiots who try and block the street. Here is the deal, you continue to drive and if you hit someone make sure you call 911 to report the accident and meet the cops a block or two away and you can justify stopping further away because you feared for your safety since in the past people in this group has shown a propensity towards violence. Since they are trying to block the street and/or cross where there is no crossing you should not be charged with anything. Now, these idiots could try and sue you in civil court, but remember that it will be jury trial and so most likely it will come out in your favor.”

Run them over.

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Posted in Automotive Apologies, Bad Apologies, Evil Twin Apologies, Police Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

You think a noble underdog should apologize? Media scum.

We’ve gotten requests to do the apology/non-apology/semi-apology of Paul LePage, Governor of Maine.

Non-apologies are a LePage specialty, as we’ll see. We try not to do non-apologies but there is also a despicable phony apology in the current mess, so we’ll take a look.

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Posted in Bad Apologies, Non-apologies, Political Apologies, Sorry If | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Haha No Iceberg lol

Photo: Susan McCarthy.

Honestly? Not a berg, a floe. (It broke off shore ice, not from a glacier.)

I write from a place thronged with icebergs. Little, big, massive icebergs. Grand, silly. Beautiful, peculiar. Sometimes adorned with wildlife. It’s a place where there’s an iceberg rule: don’t approach closer than three times the height of the iceberg. Something might fall off it onto you. (Hey, something might leap off it onto you – awkward for both parties.) Or it might suddenly turn over and swamp your boat. Icebergs should be treated seriously.

Here at SorryWatch, we aim to be honest about icebergs. Yet history shows some people love to lie about icebergs.

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Posted in Bad Apologies, Cryptic Apologies, Media Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Who knew, guru?

love-guru1On Christmas, my non-SorryWatch-non-Sumac colleague Mark Oppenheimer published a piece in the New York Times about a New Age spiritual leader named Marc Gafni. Gafni advises such luminaries as John Mackey (of Whole Foods), John Gray (of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus) and Arianna Huffington (of Fuck You, Pay Me). He uses words like “integral wisdom” and “meditation” and “renaissance,” and mentors business types in their quest for “conscious capitalism,” which is a thing. But Mark’s story shows that Gafni (born Mordechai Winiarz) also has a long history of statutory rape and sexual abuse allegations and all-around sexual manipulation. A former Orthodox rabbi, he had his ordination rescinded by the prominent rabbi who ordained him. What is relevant to our purposes here is that he apologized for his conduct, then RESCINDED the apology, which means we have a lot of SorryWatching to get to! My shakti is ready!  Continue reading

Posted in Business Apologies, Non-apologies, Religious Apologies, True Crime Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Five doves and many small dogs

Image: Leonard Straszyński. Public domain.

One dove. “Fly to him I love and tell him the world is ending. Soon. He needs to get over here if he wants to see my sash.” (Note small dog.)

I came across an apology from 2011, and back-tracked to try to figure out what happened.

This took place on fivedoves.com, a website started by John Tng, Jim Bramlett, and three like-minded people in 1997, to “proclaim… the soon return of the Lord Jesus.” Emphasis on soon. Return as in Rapture.

Rather than call themselves 5 Guys Pizza – both trite and misleading – they went with Five Doves. Doves typically symbolize peace, love, or a messenger, and I guess messenger is the principal meaning here. Now, all the people in the community are called Doves.

I am sad to say that the early messages about the soonness of it all are no longer on the website. Who’s interested in old promises, and subsequent old laments? Who wants yesterday’s coos?

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Posted in Religious Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I back-dated my license to kill, was that not okay?

Photo: AlbertHerring. https://www.flickr.com/photos/denalinps/6186576225/ Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

They all look alike, amiright?

There’s this host of an Outdoor Channel show, who also does shooting tips for a shotgun company. While on a bear-hunting trip for the show, the star messed up in a big way, shot too many bears, and cooked up a scheme with the guides to make it look like it never happened.

The penalty for the cover-up is greater than the penalty for the crime, and it got all of them in trouble.

And none of the media covering the story can talk about it without saying “beauty queen.”

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Posted in Animals and Apologies, True Crime Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Why so troubled by a contextual rap?

Photo: Scott Dudelson. Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Bradford Cox, a person who gets thirsty. And loves his dog.

At a Deerhunter concert at the Orange Peel in early December, lead singer/guitarist Bradford Cox told a long rambling story about the first time Deerhunter appeared at the Peel in 2007. Smashing Pumpkins had a week-long run there, and then-obscure Deerhunter opened for them one night.

Cox spent a quarter of an hour reminiscing about an encounter he had with Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan, whose personality is notorious. His story was recorded by a fan, put on YouTube, called slander and greeted with a threat of legal action from Smashing Pumpkins’ manager, and taken down again.

Allegedly, it was over a bottle of water.

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Posted in Bad Apologies, Musical Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

That old story – and now I bet you want to borrow money

Photo: Susan McCarthy

The Marr Ice Piedmont glacier.

Sumac’s still in Antarctica, where people are awfully damned nice. They say sorry a lot, but not because they’ve done anything worth mentioning. Then when they secretly zip-tie a person’s leg to a chair leg, they just laugh.

Sumac used the satellite phone to call her husband. There’s a five hour time difference, and she was tired from snowshoeing up the glacier, and hadn’t wanted to call earlier while he was at work.

So he took the call on the BART train. Even though he generally finds it rude to have phone conversations on the bus or train.

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Posted in Good apologies | Tagged , , , | 11 Comments

It won’t happen again, so shut up about it.

Photo: Richard Waitt, U.S. Geological Survey. Public domain.

Mt. Erebus. High, cold, unyielding. Volcanically active.

November 28th, 1979, an Air New Zealand sightseeing flight to Antarctica smashed into Mount Erebus, instantly killing everyone aboard. It was the first air disaster in New Zealand’s history and is still the worst.

The sightseeing flights began in 1977. They were a day’s outing. Flight 901 left Auckland at 8:00 a.m. and flew 5,360 miles. The planes had guides – sometimes Sir Edmund Hillary – and the middle seats were usually empty. This was 1977, and people weren’t packed in like down sleeping bags in stuff sacks. You could sit comfortably, and move around to look out of different windows. The guide pointed out where you were, what had happened there, what you were seeing. There was a grand low sweep over McMurdo Sound.

You’d be back in Auckland by 9 p.m. Don’t start planning your trip, though. They stopped flying 901 after the 1979 tragedy. (Though Qantas does a thing.)

So what went wrong?

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Posted in Bad Apologies, Belated Apologies, Corporate Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments