Apologizing is for leftist hipster losers

One of the perils of being a Jew in America is being constantly, painfully attuned to our place in the international consciousness. Any news or pop cultural event is run through the filter of “Is it good for the Jews?” And being a Jew in America means fretting about Israel. Some of us are rabidly hawkish; some of us are naively left-ish, some of us are somewhere in the middle, and some of us put our fingers in our ears and sing LALALALALALA whenever Israel is in the news, but anyone with a brain cell knows that the way Israel behaves and the way Israel is portrayed (not the same thing) affect how we Jews are perceived in the world.

SO: I am acutely aware that the only post we’ve done about Israel was negative. Furthermore, many of the readers of my column in a certain Jewish publication think I am a liberal clueless spineless dickweed who hates Israel. So in an atypically sardonicism-free way, I want to say that I do not hate Israel; I believe in Israel’s right to exist; I do not think enough attention is paid to other people’s stated intentions to push Israel into the sea or blow it off the map; I wish more people were attuned to the huge diversity of political opinion within Israel and the amount of innovation and creativity that thrives in Israel; and now I am going to write another post that is negative about Israel. #sorrynotsorry. Continue reading

Posted in Campaign apologies, Political Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Do not make me turn this plane around

Photo: Adrian Pingstone/Arpingstone. Public domain.

What a nutty plane!

In the first class section of your flight, you may expect the tender luxury to begin with a serving of nuts. But some people are allergic to nuts (or dislike them), so the flight attendant should ask if you would like nuts. These nuts should be served to you in a lordly dish, possibly heated up.

If this is not your experience, you should fly into a rage, demand the dismissal of the flight attendant, and insist that the plane be turned around so the incompetent individual can be ejected.

We know this is so, because this is how a vice president of Korean Air Lines reacted when she was subjected to this mistreatment.

Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Cultures and Apology | 4 Comments

Compare ‘n’ contrast! Rolling Stone & Jon Stewart apologies!

In a roundup last week, Jon Stewart offered up a list of Black men from around the country who had been killed by police in the last year. Unfortunately, one of the men wasn’t shot or strangled; he was Tasered while high and attempting to assault a sheriff. The medical examiner ruled he’d died of a drug overdose. Stewart apologized for the error: Continue reading

Posted in Media Apologies, Social Media Apologies, Twitpologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Jon Stewart on apology vs regret

Jon Stewart was amusant last week in a report about the St. Louis Rams’s “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” gesture.


We shall now weigh in with our analysis belatedly, as is our frequent wont. We are busy ladies.   Continue reading

Posted in Sports Apologies, The Mechanics of Apology, Twitpologies | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

On hugs and regret

hugI was going to post about this image and text. I really wanted to. Continue reading

Posted in Government Apologies, Historical Apologies, Political Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tiny good thing

Photo: Jquemba. Public domain.

All kinds of people work in call centers.

Often, when I start to tell telephone solicitors that I won’t send money or give them my password, they hang up.

So rude. They called me, and then they hang up on me? Sometimes I actually need to talk to them, for example to explain that they have called a home, not a business, and so they will never be able to sell me an improved business listing on Google. Can’t explain if they’ve hung up.

Continue reading

Posted in Good apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Unlike me, you’re rude

As happens every year, the president publicly “pardoned” a turkey for Thanksgiving. Two worried turkeys, Mac and Cheese, were escorted to the event. Cheese was officially pardoned. Understudy Mac was on hand in case something went wrong.

President Obama’s children, Malia and Sasha Obama, were present during the event, the 6th one they have been forced to/allowed to attend. They looked on quietly, smiled from time to time at their father’s jokes and mock-pompous delivery, and at other points looked bored. I watched 6 minutes of it, and at times I looked bored myself, even though I am interested in turkeys.

Then a mean person posted some ugly remarks about Malia and Sasha on Facebook. Coincidence that this person is Republican?

Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Political Apologies, Social Media Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Too creepy to travel

Damn, it used to be a white guy in Tokyo could get away with anything – like playfully choking girls in public, randomly ramming their heads into his crotch while cheerfully shouting “Pikachu!” and Instagramming a domestic violence checklist labeled as advice on #HowToMakeHerStay.


“At least in Tokyo, if you’re a white male, you can do what you want,” Julien Blanc tells a seminar full of predator wannabes, while demonstrating his technique for pulling girls’ heads down toward his nasty bits. (Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0AtF2gTDZw#t=59)

But thanks to a boatload of outraged women and ex-pats* who’ve got their Twitter and know how to use it, last week, Julien Blanc – the self-styled “how to be Sex-Worthy” guru who has been running seminars to help Forever Alones “develop panty-dropping masculinity” – has recently found himself the target of a bilingual petition with 51,674 signatures and counting, aimed at banning him from reentering Japan. (*Not everyone who signed the petition would call themselves feminists, but ex-pats in general are freaked that they might be tarred with the same #foreigner brush as this douchebag.)

Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Bropology, Cultures and Apology, Guest Post, Sorry If | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Reflections on a Gift of Watermelon Pickle

A guest post by SorryWatch Senior Kidlit Correspondent Andria Amaral, the Young Adult Services Manager at the Charleston County Public Library in South Carolina. 


Jacqueline Woodson

As you’ve probably heard by now, after winning the prestigious Young People’s Literature Award for her gorgeous book Brown Girl Dreaming at the National Book Awards on Wednesday night, Jacqueline Woodson was the subject of a hilariously unfunny and appallingly racist “joke” about her allergy to watermelons, delivered by the event’s MC, Daniel Handler.

Not Jacqueline Woodson.

One of the most upsetting things about this whole debacle is the way it’s shifted attention away from Woodson’s achievements and toward Handler’s buffoonery. Continue reading

Posted in Guest Post, Literary Apologies, Media Apologies, Twitpologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Now that he knows…

Photo: Qyd. GNU Free Documentation license, Version 1.2

Nice people welcome in Calgary.

This story starts very badly, but gets better.

A young man raped a girl in 1997. He was 22, a veteran, sleeping on the floor at someone’s house in Calgary, Alberta. So was a 13-year-old girl at a sleepover. He raped her.He kept whispering “It’s okay.” She kept saying “No.”

It wasn’t okay. She didn’t keep it secret. Jamie Raymond Green was charged with sexual assault and sexual touching of a minor, but after a preliminary inquiry, he disappeared.

Continue reading

Posted in Accepting apologies, Belated Apologies, True Crime Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment