Celebrity apology roundup! Five apologies, one post!

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Bro! Dude! Bro! Dude!

Have any celebrities apologized for entitled narcissistic inappropro behavior recently?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (/wipes eyes) yes.

1. Musclebound Marvel meatballs!

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Posted in Bad Apologies, Bropology, Celebrity Apologies, Corporate Apologies, Fashion Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Is this Vince Lombardi High?

Image: If from 1901, by Jean Marc Cote; if from 1910, by Villemard. Public domain (owing to copyright expiration).

From 1901 or 1910, startlingly prescient prediction of a classroom in 2000. Hard to tell which one of these kids complained about the Bible verses, but WE WILL FIND OUT.

Morning announcements over intercom. Not a highlight of my school days. At White Oak High School in Longview, Texas, principal Dan Noll likes to read Bible verses.

Such as: “Proverbs 15:8: The Lord detests the sacrifice of the wicked, but the prayer of the upright pleases him…A moment of silence.”

Kill me now.

Rather than gnaw off a forelimb to escape, an unnamed student recorded a few of Noll’s scriptural readings and sent them to blogger Hemant Mehta, of The Friendly Atheist.

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I am the very model of a meddling Major General

Photo: Adrian Pingstone. Public domain.

A-10 Thunderbolt. Remind you of anything?

Major General James Post was addressing the Air Force’s “Weapons and Tactics” conference. During Q&A someone asked about the future of the A-10 Thunderbolt plane, aka The Warthog.

“If anyone accuses me of saying this, I will deny it,” began Post. Much chuckling. Ha ha, just among the 350 of us officers.

He went on: “Anyone who is passing information to Congress about A-10 capabilities is committing treason.”

That threatening charge [“froze the room into stone silence,”] according to the John Q. Public blog.

Treason?

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ESPN Mean Girl Apologizes Badly

Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George.

Apologizing to the public is well and good, but you also have to apologize directly to the person you wronged. And in this case, even the public apology was lousy. Continue reading

Posted in Automotive Apologies, Bad Apologies, Campaign apologies, Media Apologies, Sports Apologies, Twitpologies | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

If you’re going to barf in a bookstore…

…you could take a lesson in apologizing from a boy named Jack. Jack was visiting an outpost of Powell’s Bookstore in Portland when he had an unfortunate regurgitory incident. Employees cleaned up. “It was gigantic in diameter,” Bookstore manager Jennifer Wicka told Buzzfeed. (She estimated that the puke in question had a 10- to 12-foot spatter radius.) But such is life in a retail environment. Continue reading

Posted in Funny-on-Purpose Apologies, Good apologies, Youth apologizes | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Everyone deserves a second chance

Screen grab

Triple threat. Also she plays soccer (mid-fielder).

A young phenom, discovered playing football, famous for playing baseball, but really wants to play basketball. What do you call the kid?

Not “slut.”

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Posted in Bad Apologies, Social Media Apologies, Sports Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Why the cardinal is red

Cardinal1Why the Cardinal is Red: A Pourquoi Tale 

(A folktale about forgiveness written by a 10-year-old of SorryWatch’s acquaintance.)

Cardinal lived in a forest in a great oak that tickled the clouds. He could see the waterfall and the roses and the big bright sun. And Cardinal was not alone in the forest. Crow often visited in the mornings. Rose would compliment Cardinal nearly every day (for roses are very flattering). Cardinal loved the forest and every day, he would sing.

One day, Crow stopped by and asked Cardinal a question. A question that planted a seed of worry in Cardinal’s mind. And although he did not know it, that seed would soon grow into vines that would tangle Cardinal with fear and anxiety.

“Cardinal, why do you sing all day? Why not do something useful?”

Crow had given the seed its first watering.

“Well it– I– well…oh.”

Cardinal realized he had never even thought about why he would sing.

“Why do I sing? What have I accomplished by singing?”

Thoughts crammed Cardinal’s head. Cardinal was unable to sleep that night.

In the morning, Rose was curious as to why Cardinal was not singing.

“Cardinal, I have always enjoyed your singing, and I know you did too. Open your beak and let the notes fly out!”

This comment from Rose did nothing to improve Cardinal’s foul mood. In fact, it gave the seed of worry its final watering.

“You have spent your entire life sitting in a field! Does someone like you really deserve to criticize me!!!”

Tears poured from Rose’s eyes like a waterfall. Cardinal was ashamed.

“I am no better than Crow,” thought Cardinal. He wrapped his soft, black feathers around Rose.

“I truly did not mean what I said. I was tired and frustrated. I hope you can forgive me.”

Rose wiped away the final tear and smiled at Cardinal.

“You are forgiven.”

But all was not the same. When Cardinal hugged Rose, some of her scarlet color had rubbed off. Cardinal smiled at his new red feathers…and started to SING.


Posted in Animals and Apologies, Literary Apologies, Youth apologizes | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

As the rain cometh down

Photo: Gndawydiak. Public domain.

St. Mary’s Cathedral, emblem of love.

The Cathedral of St Mary of the Assumption, in San Francisco, aka St Mary’s Cathedral, is a piece of 1960s architecture. It’s interesting geometrically, as the cross section changes from a square to a cross as the roof rises.

Most photos focus on the roof, and not on large ground-level alcoves, which are apparently convenient for sleeping in, should you happen to be homeless. Cathedral officials decided to do something about this.

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Posted in Bad Apologies, Religious Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Flying Confusion Air

Photo: Fredlyfish4. Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Even if it’s been hours and you haven’t seen the mother, this fawn is not abandoned.

I recently flew to a college town, inexplicably the site of a marvelous wildlife symposium. The flight there and back involved 4 legs. I selected seats on 3 of the legs. To save money, I didn’t take advantage of airline offers to upgrade the seats for extra fees. When it came to the last leg, the website said seat selection wasn’t available at that time. Huh.

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He said he’s sorry about your pain! Friends now, right?

Photo: Poniol. Public domain.

Smoothly, smoothly.

Colleges have a long tradition of ironing over certain problems between students. If someone screams because they got burned? They iron harder.

It used to work better.

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Posted in Bad Apologies, Forcible Apologies, Poisoned Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments