The biggest mistake in drunk driving apologies

screen grab

Steven Bowditch

Steven Bowditch is an Australian golfer. Good player, currently on the PGA tour and the PGA tour of Australasia, known for bewitching eyebrows and a struggle with severe depression.

In the low-digit hours of February 3rd, Bowditch was arrested in Scottsdale, Arizona, for driving under the influence of alcohol. He was competing in the Phoenix Open there.

They ran him in. He bailed out. The next day he played in the open and shot 3 over par. This meant he missed the cut by 7 strokes. The trauma of his arrest? A hangover? Or just the way he plays? (Although it’s possible he often plays hungover.) It was the same score he’d gotten the day before his arrest.

Was he really driving drunk or were the Scottsdale police just being persnickety?

Continue reading

Posted in Apologies and Alcohol, Bad Apologies, Sports Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

General Flynn’s resignation letter is VERY BAD!

American flag backdrop! What else do you need to know?

You may have heard that Michael Flynn has resigned from his gig as National Security Advisor. Because he’d lied hither and yon about conversations he’d had with Russia.

Let’s look at his apology!  Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Military Apologies, Political Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sorrywatching the Grammies!

Your gracious hostesses Snarly and Sumac are not entirely up on Teh Music of Today. But here are the apology-related songs — of which Snarly is aware — that seem to be nominated for Grammy Awards tonight, either on their own or as part of a nominated album.

Hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter; it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore…

Adele, if you haven’t actually apologized to your ex, you have not apologized! You cannot, in fact, “say that I’ve tried.” You are not off the hook. Did you actually apologize on their voicemail? Did you email? Did you — best of all — send a paper letter on nice heavy creamy stationery? Do that, Adele. Also, if your ex hasn’t answered your “thousand” calls (I’m guessing this is hyperbole, Adele), don’t assume this means that “it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore.” You don’t know what the other person feels! And apologies are about the other person, not you. Don’t assume. Maybe they’re still angry, or deeply upset. You’re being self-justifying.

But hey, you’re doing better than the Biebs.

You gotta go and get angry at all of my honesty
You know I try but I don’t do too well with apologies…

Yeah, is it too late now to say sorry?
Cause I’m missing more than just your body
Is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I’m sorry now?

“Honesty” is an oft-used excuse for being an asshole, Justin. And saying you “don’t do too well with apologies” are not words that belong in an apology: Apologize well or don’t apologize at all. If you’re not gonna do it right, do like Beyonce. Just say Sorry Not Sorry.

We respect this.

And hm, what are the odds that Kanye — despite his extensive history of apologizing — will apologize to Taylor Swift for calling her a bitch in “Famous”? Not good!

Snarly will not be watching because she is refinishing a bed. But what Grammy-nominated apology songs did she miss? Let us know!

Posted in Musical Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Nothing says lovin’ like something from the oven

Aw, a bright pink construction paper valentine! With a red lollipop taped inside! And a picture of Adolf Hitler on the outside with the legend: “my love 4 u burns like 6,000 jews”! In Comic Sans!

you really shouldn’t have

(Also, 6,000 Jews? This person’s sense of historicity and/or math — um, how many zeroes in six million? — is as unimpressive as their anti-Semitism is top-notch.)

Continue reading

Posted in Academic apologies, Bad Apologies, Cryptic Apologies, Institutional Apologies, Social Media Apologies, Youth apologizes | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Somebody should shoot somebody to end the violence! Always works!

Photo: John Paul Filo. Fair use.

No. Shooting Jeffrey Miller did not stop protests. Nor did killing three other people that day. It didn’t even help to wound nine others. (Photo by John Paul Filo.)

Dan Adamini, a Republican state representative from Michigan’s Upper Peninsula who also hosts a radio show we decline to advertise, felt a need to dispense his sassy wisdom.

He was commenting on an initially non-violent demonstration at U.C. Berkeley protesting the appearance of Milo Yiannopoulos, a mildly notorious political troublemaker. There was property damage. Some Yiannopoulos supporters were attacked. The University says this was caused by a group of violent masked people who came from off-campus. (Many demonstrators agree.)

Adamini tweeted: “Violent protestors who shut down free speech? Time for another Kent State perhaps. One bullet stops a lot of thuggery.”

Wishing to be sure he got his message out he posted on Facebook: “The violent protests at our universities certainly indicate Portage acacian at the lower level. I’m thinking another Kent State might be the only solution protest stopped after only one death. They do it because they know there are no consequences yet….” He added a link to a Youtube video featuring himself.

“Portage acacian” means “poor education.”

Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Political Apologies, Social Media Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Free speech is not consequence-free speech

They seem friendly.

Dan Murphy, co-owner of a startup brewery in East Sacramento posted on his personal Facebook page about the 1/21/17 Women’s March. Who knows why he had that impulse. He shared a video and posted:

“I am disgusted at all the people and politicians that supported this Anti-Trump event. The left just can’t accept loss and think they can protest their way to victory. You can’t. I am especially disgusted with the politicians that supported this divisive event. Time to vote all of these pieces of garbage out of office.”

Word about this got around, somehow. Facebook is not a secret place. A lot of people were offended. (Personal disclosure by Sumac: I marched, not in Sacramento. My sister marched in Sacramento.) Some looked into his posting history and publicized bits of it.

Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Business Apologies, Social Media Apologies, Sorry If | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

You should’ve heard them knocking Edgar Allan Poe’s kid

The current president has a number of children by a number of wives. His youngest child, Barron Trump, is his son with Melania Knavs. He’s 10, an actual child child. He was recently the best thing on Inauguration Day, when he played peekaboo with a smaller child, his half-sister Ivanka’s baby.

A few people have been saying mean or intrusive things about him, and then apologizing.

The first example I heard of was a 7-minute Youtube video, “Stop the Bullying,” alleging he was autistic, framed as someone defending him against charges that he had shown bad manners. This seemed phony in a way I remembered from school days. You know: “You shouldn’t pick on her! She can’t help it if she’s STUPID, poor thing.”

Melania Trump threatened to sue. The video was taken down. Its creator, James Hunter, issued a groveling apology:

Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Good apologies, Political Apologies, Social Media Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Oh sure, you WON IT, but I have complaints

Photo: Roberto Faccenda. Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license.

Williams in Rome, 2016.

After the second round of the Australian Open, after playing Lucie Safarova, Serena Williams took questions from reporters. The first ‘question came from a reporter who favored her with his evaluation: “Congrats on the win. But it looked a little bit of a scrappy performance. A few more unforced errors, a few double-faults.”

She won it. She won it in two sets, 6-3, 6-4.

Williams replied. “I think that’s a very negative thing to say. Are you serious?”

The reporter obnoxed: “Just my observation.”

Continue reading

Posted in Accepting apologies, Forcible Apologies, Good apologies, Media Apologies, Sports Apologies | Tagged , , , , , | 9 Comments

What’s so complicated about a good apology? Ask Simplicity

Oh hai.

Someone has the job of providing enticing little tags or slogans to advertise Simplicity’s sewing patterns. Someone else has the job of approving those tags. Or not. Apparently quite a few of these someones are narrowly clued.

Someone asked, How shall we present pattern 2154, the Misses’ & Miss Petite 1960s Vintage Suit? It gives patterns for blouse, skirt, jacket, and knit cardigan. (Alas, no pattern for the pillbox hat. But if I were going to wear a pillbox it wouldn’t be white. If you would, wow. I respect that.)

In Britain they answered with the weak but I think inoffensive slogan “Be Inspired by the Sewing Bee.”

By the way, see Scruffy Badger Time for a comparisons of the knit (meaning made from knit fabric, not knitted by you) cardigans in Simplicity’s 2154 and McCalls 6708.

USA Simplicity came up with a far timelier connection to a current award-winning talking picture. USA for the win, right?

Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Corporate Apologies, Social Media Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Who hasn’t dun a great many things very improper?

Painter: Allan Ramsay. Photo by Mike Peel. Public domain.

Emily, Countess of Kildare, bearing up under so much grief.

Back in the day – the eighteenth century, I mean – Emily Fitzgerald, Countess of Kildare, set up a school for her many children (by the end she had 22). She and her husband, the Duke of Leinster, bought Black Rock, a bathing lodge south of Dublin, and fixed it up so her children could live, swim, and be taught there. She considered sea bathing essential to health. Maybe it is.

Needing a tutor for the place, and having been impressed by Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s Émile: de l’Éducation, she tried to get Rousseau himself, since he had recently fled Paris for England. She offered him “an elegant retreat if he would educate her children.” He said no. I doubt this was the reason he then fled England.

Eventually she hired William Ogilvie, an impoverished but learned Scot, to teach her children along the lines Rousseau envisioned. Plus classics. Charles, 12, was the first pupil. He and Ogilvie gardened, kept chickens, sewed, fished, worked in the stables, and studied Latin, French, English history, and drawing. As things went well, 7 more young Fitzgeralds were sent to Black Rock. I speak of Henry, Sophia, Edward, Robert, Fanny, Lucy, & Louisa.

Near the beginning something went wrong.

Continue reading

Posted in Historical Apologies, Youth apologizes | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments