Monthly Archives: October 2012

A dog and a homeowner’s insurance policy

Andy Woodward, a sheriff’s deputy in Douglas County, Nebraska, works with Diezel, a Belgian Malinois police dog. Woodward is required to keep Diezel in his home, as is common for police dogs. But when his insurance company, American Family Insurance, … Continue reading

Posted in Animals and Apologies, Bad Apologies, Corporate Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Hurricane Sandy apologizes

The “superstorm” name? I own it. I am not one to duck responsibility. Hey, I apologize if anyone is offended by my activities. I’m sorry if you were delusional enough to think your petty little structures and arrangements were untouchable. … Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Funny-on-Purpose Apologies | Tagged , | 5 Comments

Lil Reese keeps messing up

An aspiring 19-year-old Chicago rapper, Lil Reese (Tavares Taylor), signed to Def Jam records, just got better-known when a camera-phone video started going around, showing him striking down and kicking a woman who told him to leave her apartment. I’m … Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Celebrity Apologies, Non-apologies, Showpologies | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rueful newsday

The Rolling Stones are going on tour again. For this to happen, Keith Richards had to apologize to Mick Jagger for things Richards wrote about Jagger in his 2011 autobiography, Life. Rolling Stone (the publication, not a stray member of … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity Apologies | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Sorry? Mitt Romney approved that message?

  Good news! I’ve just read Mitt Romney’s 2010 book, No Apology: The Case for American Greatness. That means you don’t have to. The title is nonsense. Here’s the fantasy scenario that’s supposed to explain it. First, Romney declares that … Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Campaign apologies, Non-apologies | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

mourdick

I apologize for not blogging about Richard Mourdock, the Republican State Senate candidate from Indiana who said that pregnancies resulting from rape are “something that God intends to happen.” That was because I missed his apology. Perhaps you missed it … Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Campaign apologies, Media Apologies | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

The quick apology and speedy acceptance

Dundee United were playing Dinamo Moscow. It was an exciting game, a Europe League qualifier. Willo Flood scored a goal. Dundee players piled on top of each other in exuberance. Follower Loopy McFanface*, 26, raced out onto the pitch and … Continue reading

Posted in Fake apologies, Sports Apologies | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Rambam, Thank You Ma’am

Here’s how you do repentance, according to the 12th-century Jewish sage Maimonides (aka Rambam). You need the following elements: Humility, remorse, forbearance and reparation. Not so coincidentally, the same goes for apologies. Maimo (we’re tight) wrote in his Laws of Repentance: “What constitutes complete repentance? He who … Continue reading

Posted in Good apologies, The Mechanics of Apology | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

To some degree a contest

The technical term for people like Michael Brutsch, aka Violentacrez, is “troll,” unfair though that may seem to hideous stinky cave-dwelling beings who eat billy goats. For years, known only as Violentacrez, he created nasty – and popular – online … Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Fake apologies | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

There wasn’t room for an effusive apology

Rupert Murdoch was snarling away on Twitter: “Told UK’s Cameron receiving scumbag celebrities pushing for even more privacy laws. Trust the toffs! Transparency under attack. Bad.” Americans don’t talk much about toffs. First definition I found said they are “member[s] … Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Celebrity Apologies, Media Apologies, Poisoned Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments