A disgusting mouth

Photo: Michael Vadon. https://www.flickr.com/photos/80038275@N00/16512743558/ Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license.

Do not let him near me.

I was contentedly composing a post about poetry and plums. Suddenly Twitter exploded and there was slime flying everywhere.

A tape from 2005 had just been released by The Washington Post. In it, radio/TV host Billy Bush was buttering up Donald Trump on the way to the set of the soap opera “Days of Our Lives.” There was loathsome sex talk. Rapey sex talk. With Trump doing most of the talking, and Bush obsequiously encouraging him.

Here’s what Trump said in the course of an idle disgusting conversation with Bush. I have edited out Bush and any other lickspittles saying “Yeah” and “Whoa” and “Whatever you want!”

Trump begins by talking about a failed seduction. “I moved on her and I failed. I’ll admit it…. I did try and fuck her. She was married. And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.’ I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look….”

They spot Arianne Zucker at this point, the actress whose unfortunate job is to escort them onto the set. They discuss her legs.

Trump resumes speaking his short-fingered vulgar mind: “I’ve gotta use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful – I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything…. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”

“Grab them by the pussy.” That’s assault. As in against the law.

Asked about this today, Trump said, “This was locker room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago. Bill Clinton has said far worse to me on the golf course – not even close. I apologize if anyone was offended.”

Trump’s not known for apologizing. But that’s okay, because this shouldn’t count as an apology.

Photo: Michael Vadon. https://www.flickr.com/photos/80038275@N00/16512743558/ Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license.

Just ugh.

It’s an example of the cowardly Sorry-If. He says he apologizes if anyone was offended. Notice he doesn’t admit that it’s actually offensive. Which it is. And evil. “When you’re a star… you can do anything”? No no no no no. Though it’s probably true that he’s gotten away with a lot of nastiness committed against people who were afraid to call him on it.

Trump tries to change the subject to Bill Clinton. That bullshit won’t work.

If anyone was offended. He knows people were offended.

As for me, I’m not sure offended is the right word. Revolted? Horrified? Nauseated?

Not to mention appalled – he considers himself a “star” who can do anything to women. Anything, no matter how gross, unwelcome, illegal. Never mind that I have a different definition of star.

What does he think a president can do?


You’ve probably seen the videotaped apology by now. If not, watch it here. The text:

“I’ve never said I’m a perfect person, nor pretended to be someone that I’m not. I’ve said and done things I regret, and the words released today on this more than a decade-old video are one of them. Anyone who knows me knows these words don’t reflect who I am. I said it, I was wrong and I apologize.

I have traveled the country talking about change for America, but my travels have also changed me. I’ve spent time with grieving mothers who’ve lost their children, laid-off workers whose jobs have gone to other countries, and people from all walks of life who just want a better future. I have gotten to know the great people of our country and I’ve been humbled by the faith they’ve placed in me. I pledge to be a better man tomorrow, and will never, ever let you down.

Let’s be honest, we’re living in the real world. This is nothing more than a distraction from the important issues we’re facing today.

We are losing our jobs, we are less safe than we were eight years ago and Washington is totally broken. Hillary Clinton and her kind have run our country into the ground. I’ve said some foolish things, but there’s a big difference between the words and actions of other people. Bill Clinton has actually abused women, and Hillary has bullied, attacked, shamed and intimidated his victims. We will discuss this more in the coming days. See you at the debate on Sunday.”

This would do awesomely on Bad Apology Bingo!

As many folks on Twitter pointed out, there’s a lie in the first sentence. He did indeed pretend to be someone he wasn’t, several times masquerading as his own (fake) publicist.

“I’ve never said I’m a perfect person” is a way to say both “you knew what you were getting with me” and “c’mon, this isn’t so bad.” The “more-than-a-decade-ago” comment conveys “someone dragged out this ancient artifact to hurt me.” Sticking the words “I apologize” at the end of a compound sentence — to say nothing of at the end of a paragraph — diminishes it. The “anyone who knows me” and “these words do not reflect who I am” are both right out of the Bad Apology Playbook — you said the things, therefore, they do reflect who you are.

When Trump says “my travels have changed me,” I thought he was going to say he’d gained more understanding of the issues women face and become the kind of person who wouldn’t grab women by their pussies. (I expected that last part to remain subtext.) But no, he offers general platitudes about both men and women, and then says he pledges to be a better man. But if the words he spoke don’t reflect who he is, why does he need to be a better man?

“Let’s be honest, we’re living in the real world” then negates any half-assed apology that came before. “Let’s be honest” implies that the need to respond to the tape is bullshit, politics, entrapment…and it’s a strange choice of word, because hasn’t his whole shtick been that he’s ALWAYS honest, when no one else is? The “real world” phrase implies what he said earlier: Everyone talks like this. Only hothouse flowers think everyone DOESN’T talk like this. And of course, “this is nothing more than a distraction” again negates any notion of remorse or soul-searching. Talking about assaulting women isn’t worth paying attention to, so let’s move on.

In the last paragraph, we start with boilerplate campaign rhetoric. Then he states that Bill Clinton (who is not running for president, and whose conduct Hillary is not responsible for, no more than Melania and Marla and Ivana are responsible for Donald’s) actually assaulted women (not proven, no more than the rape charges against Trump have been proven, and again, Bill is not running for president), and Hillary bullied them (again, an unproven allegation). Again he stomps out his own “apology” by saying BUT LOOK WHAT THEY DID; IT’S WAY WORSE. An apology owns the offense and does not blame others and does not say (as Lance Armstrong did in his terrible apologies, or Ray Rice did by blaming his wife for her own assault): BUT LOOK ELSEWHERE. And I’m not the only one who views “we’ll discuss this more in the coming days” as an implied threat.

Not apologized to: Trump’s own wife and children, Arianne Zucker, the married fake-titted woman.

This entry was posted in Bad Apologies, Celebrity Apologies, Sorry If and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to A disgusting mouth

  1. simple-touriste says:

    OK, we get it, The Donald is a pig, whatever.

    What about Crooked Hillary and her fake top secret emails on server with no security what-so-ever apology?

    • sumac says:

      I wondered whether to leave your post up, simple-touriste. Your use of the alt-right nickname “Crooked Hillary” suggests a less than open mind.

      Trump (whom I do not call “The Donald” or “Deadbeat Donald”) is apparently more than a “pig,” he’s a person who commits assaults on women. My reaction to that is not “whatever.”

      • simple-touriste says:

        I am sure “alt-right nickname” was intended as an insult. Crooked Hillary simply a description backed by overwhelming, undeniable evidence, unlike “global warming” (caused by CO2) which is a theory with zero empirical evidence.

        • Frances Montell says:

          You have a strange idea of what constitutes “evidence.” Usually the consensus of the scientific community is accepted and partisan political hackery is not. But you’ve entirely reversed that. You definitely seem to be living in an “alternate right-wing” reality.

          • simple-touriste says:

            “You have a strange idea of what constitutes “evidence.””

            Actually, you do. You seem to be the result of modern “education” aka brainwashing.

            “Usually the consensus of the scientific community is accepted”

            Nope, never was, never will be.

            The “consensus” have frequently been wrong, and there is no consensus on climate anyway. It’s a hoax.

            Although people during the dark ages used to believe that.

            Sad. Educators have a lot of excusing to do.

          • sumac says:

            Simple-touriste, you’re wrong about climate change.

            On the one hand, it’s annoying — but I think you like being annoying — to have you drag in a whole new topic into a discussion. On the other hand, climate change needs to be a much bigger and more frequent part of public discourse.

            Please do not claim that people who disagree with you have been brainwashed. If you do it again, those posts will be deleted.

        • sumac says:

          I didn’t intend “alt-right” as an insult, but as an identifier. Do you object to it?

    • Given that since the start of his campaign, Mr. Trump has said repeatedly that he’s never had anything to apologize for, I wonder if you Sorryistas keep a running meter on individuals, like Politifact?

      • simple-touriste says:

        Why do you believe politifiction is of any use for anything?

        • sumac says:

          Simple-touriste, this is not a useful comment. I guess from it that you don’t like Politifact because you use a mocking name, but there is zero other information here.

          I have blocked some of your other rude comments (“libtards” “Killary”) because they are also mere insults.

          Are you interested in apology analysis? If yes, why not comment in a more substantial manner?

      • sumac says:

        No, we don’t do keep a running meter. We also avoid writing about people who should apologize, but haven’t, because THAT WOULD BE ENDLESS.

    • Tom Spears says:

      No no no. Trumps supporters constantly do this. Since tgere is NO DEFENSE for the stuff he does, instead deflect and attack one of the other candidates. Bull. Defend him if you can, and vote for him if you agree with Trump’s way of life. If you can’t defend him, then shut up.

      • simple-touriste says:

        Trump is a MAN, period.

        There is no need to defend anything.

        • sumac says:

          I disagree, and so does the law of the land.

          • simple-touriste says:

            Not sure which “law” you are talking about.

          • sumac says:

            Laws against assault and battery. “In criminal and civil law, assault is an attempt to initiate harmful or offensive contact with a person, or a threat to do so. It is distinct from battery, which refers to the actual achievement of such contact.” — Wikipedia

          • simple-touriste says:

            You are making up stuff. There was no assault.

            Nice distraction as the Hillary Clinton campaign is crashing anyway…

          • sumac says:

            No, I’m not “making stuff up.” In the tape, Trump described committing assault and battery.

            If you want to continue in this discussion, please refrain from bringing in new subjects, such as the status of the Clinton campaign.

            Are you interested in apology analysis?

          • simple-touriste says:

            “Trump described committing assault and battery”

            in a braggadocios way! That’s called hitting on people, and it’s OK.

          • sumac says:

            Your argument is that he was lying about what he did?

  2. condorito says:

    I don’t think you do actually get it, simple-touriste.

  3. peephole says:

    How adorable! You got a little troll!

  4. Sorry, I left this is in the Troll Cage, but do you keep a spread on ugliness / apology by individual? I have an infographic in mind.

  5. tanita says:

    Clearly, someone missed the science fiction creed of “with great power comes GREAT RESPONSIBILITY.”

  6. You are totally right that everything Trump said here is utter garbage, including attempting to blame Hillary for Bill’s actual and/or claimed mistreatment of women. (I recently had to resort to closed eyes and headphones with loud music to shut out a vicious tirade on that very subject from a conversation-interrupting bully next to me on a plane).

    My concern in your phrasing on that issue is that while he may not have committed physically violent sexual assaults his undoubted and eventually admitted exploitation/predation on Monica Lewinsky–a very young and extremely low status worker while he was her CEO–was sexual harassment and a vile abuse of power. But it is still virtually never admitted to be such, instead being treated as a consensual affair and/or, as is so endemic in our misogynist rape culture, blamed on the victim instead of the perpetrator. And the same ignorance about power differentials and their abuse continues largely unabated today. So whenever it does come up in conversation/writing it is a great service to vulnerable folks and society in general to name it for what it really is. (While in this case clarifiying it should in no way be used against Hillary, of course). I am especially passionate about spreading good info on these issues having served many abuse survivors in pastoral counseling as well as surviving totally unpunished clergy/professorial sexual abuse, with the greatest trauma being false guilt and shame since no one, including priests and therapists, told me was abuse and not my sin for seven years. Thanks so much for considering!

  7. sumac says:

    One thing I notice about the videotaped apology is that if you were so fortunate as not to know what this was about, you would not be able to tell from the apology. In other words, he is not specific about what he’s apologizing for. He doesn’t even mention behavior toward women until the last paragraph, and only in the context of attacking others.

    Even more bad apology technique!

  8. Mitchell Halberstadt says:

    What a difference a day makes! Since I posted the above comment, several women have complained publicly of incidents involving Trump that were not consensual. This had not yet occurred when I posted the comment.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Spam Control *