Category Archives: Fake apologies

I saw what you did, lady

Hot summer afternoon in North Carolina. Rebecca Landis Hayes went to the grocery store. She spotted a parking space reserved for veterans, and pulled into it. She was just going to run in quickly, and it was hot. So she … Continue reading

Posted in Accepting apologies, Fake apologies, Good apologies, Social Media Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Cruz to City: Drop Dead

A person running for president said something snide, and later said he was apologizing for it. Sounds good until you seek the apology. The candidate isn’t expressing regret, he’s piling insults higher.

Posted in Fake apologies, Poisoned Apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Chris Pratt’s pre-emptive press-tour strike

When Equinox does it, it’s douchey. When Chris Pratt does it, it is adorable! What is it? Pre-Apology! 

Posted in Bropology, Business Apologies, Celebrity Apologies, Corporate Apologies, Fake apologies, Funny-on-Purpose Apologies, Good apologies, Social Media Apologies, Twitpologies | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Is this Vince Lombardi High?

Morning announcements over intercom. Not a highlight of my school days. At White Oak High School in Longview, Texas, principal Dan Noll likes to read Bible verses. Such as: “Proverbs 15:8: The Lord detests the sacrifice of the wicked, but … Continue reading

Posted in Academic apologies, Bad Apologies, Fake apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Flying Confusion Air

I recently flew to a college town, inexplicably the site of a marvelous wildlife symposium. The flight there and back involved 4 legs. I selected seats on 3 of the legs. To save money, I didn’t take advantage of airline … Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Corporate Apologies, Fake apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Dear Equinox: Stop Trying to Make #PreApology Happen

On Twitter yesterday, the Chief Marketing Officer of Equinox Gyms posted this: This wittiness is tied to Equinox’s new campaign, all tied to the notion of “preapology.” LET’S DISCUSS.

Posted in Bropology, Corporate Apologies, Fake apologies, Fashion Apologies, Twitpologies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

You gloomy gaggle of killjoy jobsworths, here’s your apology

If you’ve been reading the Publican’s Morning Advertiser, you know that the Portman Group condemns the advertising for Dead Pony Club Ale, and [has instructed retailers not to place orders] for the irresponsible stuff. The Portman Group? Who are they? … Continue reading

Posted in Apologies and Alcohol, Fake apologies, The Mechanics of Apology | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

An apology to Chris Brown on Fox News

Courtesy of Wil Wheaton’s tumblr, as originally posted by don’t get comfortable by way of excellent SorryWatcher Lisa Harsma: Which was followed by an apology (or “apology”) on Fox News. FOX NEWS.

Posted in Celebrity Apologies, Fake apologies, Forcible Apologies, Funny-on-Purpose Apologies, Good apologies, Non-apologies | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Unpack that snarky hashtag

Trending today on Twitter: #sorrynotsorry. Let’s unpack that and spread its contents all over the floor. And accidentally step on some of it. #sorrynotsorry means: “This is a situation where people often say ‘Sorry,’ but since I’m unrepentant, I’m just … Continue reading

Posted in Bad Apologies, Fake apologies, Non-apologies, Poisoned Apologies, Sorry If, Twitpologies | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

she’s my girlfriend who lives in canada

  From, of course, Passive-Aggressive Notes.

Posted in Fake apologies, Funny-on-Purpose Apologies, Personal Apologies | Tagged , , | 3 Comments